My homeschool journey began in 1991. No, I didn't officially homeschool until 1999. But the seeds were planted in 1991, while I was reading various books from our local La Leche League group's library. I cannot recall which book led me to the writings of John Holt but there I was.... discovering homeschooling. At that point my eldest child, Amy, was 5 and about to begin Kindergarten. I really wanted to homeschool her but knew that I'd gain opposition from my family. I was already such a "black sheep" with religion and co-sleeping and breastfeeding that I finally decided to send Amy to school. I volunteered and eventually worked on various boards and such within the school system. Although I never forgot about homeschooling and all I had read, Amy did well in school. I did well working within that system.
My son's story was different...
My son, who had severe A.D.H.D. was struggling desperately in school. Although he had an IEP and a case manager and all sorts of assistance agencies advocating for him, the teachers themselves would not comply with any suggestions, directives or agreements made for him. Some were cruel. In the 3rd grade, for instance, a teacher used to make him spend his 6 hour days in what would equate with a closet because I had it in his IEP that he should "not be seated in high traffic areas". My son suffered this fate quietly for months before I found out this was happening. He simply accepted that he was to be treated this way! In the 4th grade, we had a real problem with a teacher who complied with absolutely nothing she'd been directed to do and told me that "he doesn't have A.D.H.D., he just needs his butt whipped more regularly!" She was horrid.
 |
| Teachers and Students: No room for individual needs |
Teachers had repeatedly been told that when he was confused or lost on an assignment, he would not ask for help. He was too embarrassed to ask for help. Having made up his mind that he was "different' and "stupid", he was not willing to open his mouth and thereby point these "facts" out to his peers. The teachers were directed to approach him and offer help if they saw him this way. They would agree yet when they would find him sitting there lost and confused, they'd give him suspension for "defiance". Overall, he lost his love for learning and, eventually, they were going to expel him from the county's school system when he was 2 months into 6th grade. He had been so excited about middle school and having a "new start" but they destroyed it for him... simply sucked out his joy and replaced it with suspensions and a hatred for school. That's when homeschooling became a reality for us.
A Difficult Journey
From 1999 to 2009 was a journey of learning for everyone. I started out trying to "school at home". Schedules, texts, timed subjects, etc. Oh what a failure this was! I look back now and realize how very little I understood about homeschooling! Alexis was only 4 1/2 years old at that time. The stress of my "school at home" efforts drove everyone crazy and made our days miserable. Somehow we sort of "fell" into unschooling about the time I had my 5th child. The daily battles with my son simply wore us both down and I had no time for such chaos while dealing with a baby who screamed with G.E.R.D. pain 22 hours per day. Besides, more often than not, he'd just walk out the door, angry and fed up with all of it. From 2002-2009, everyone was more or less unschooled. In 2009, life changed.
 |
| Mom Learns a New Method |
In the Spring of 2009, I was using a relaxed homeschooling approach with Alexis and Lorelai, my last two children. The other children were grown by then. In my desire to create a blog which would help homeschoolers, chocked full of resources and information, I decided that I would write some posts on the various homeschooling methods. I started with Charlotte Mason. I did research for days. I couldn't believe I'd never seen this! How did I overlook this when I'd seen "Charlotte Mason Method" so many times in the past!? It all made so much sense! Within a few weeks, I had purchased some books from the AmblesideOnline book lists. Our first day using this method was so easy, freeing, relaxed and enjoyable! When our time was finished, the girls were begging me not to stop "school"!!
We've been using the Charlotte Mason method for 2 years now. I've read Home Education
, A Charlotte Mason Education
and More Charlotte Mason Education
. I've learned more fully how to incorporate Nature Studies into our lives the by owning and reading, Handbook of Nature Study
and from following Barb's blog. I've enjoyed so much about this and have often wished I could go back and start our journey again. My son would have loved this! He agrees. I honestly don't think that any of us were ever completely comfortable with unschooling. I always worried I was failing them. As adults, I've even had to bear some snarky remarks that imply they felt the same. We've had some long talks and we've come to have a certain amount of peace with the experience. We have concluded that if the goal of education is to create in them a love of learning so strong that they become self educators who seek knowledge for the sake of gaining knowledge, then I've succeeded. Perhaps it was the naturalist lifestyle we led; my natural inclination toward self-education passed down to them; or that we lived in the cottage with no modern interruptions to real life and conversation (I suspect it is all of the above) but my grown children are all self-educators who regularly seek out knowledge and love learning. They love the fine arts; have a deep abiding respect for God and nature and have turned out quite well. But if I could go back with the knowledge that I have now.. their educational journey would have looked quite different and the journey wouldn't have been so rocky. But no regrets.. Life is what it is; we learn and move forward, right?
What has your journey looked like? What methods have you used? Share a comment and/or a link!
Happy Homeschooling!
17 comments:
I loved reading this post. I especially identified with the part where the teacher told you that your son just "needed his butt whipped" more often. My son only attended preschool (and did well there) before we started homeschooling, but I had family members tell me that "all he needs is a good spanking" when he started having behavior issues.
Life gets in the way of our homeschooling so much! We are pretty much unschooling for the rest of this year (we school from August - May).
My grandson is due to be born April 1st, so we will be very busy soon, and I figure we can pick up again in the fall. Still haven't decided what our method will be at that point. Sometimes wish my son wasn't the only one at home. He would have so much more fun with a group.
I want to thank you for such an honest and heartfelt post. I also have older kids who did well in the school system. It was our third child who we pulled out of 4th grade when his teacher decided that timed tests were mandatory even though we had it in the IEP that timed tests would not be administered! I also wish I had done some things better or different, but you are right...no regrets and we live life and learn from it all the time! Thank you again!
Audrey: Sorry you had challenges too. My son didn't give them ANY grief (he gave me grief, no doubt, but not them). At the conference when the teacher said that to me, she was trying to prove I was a bad mom who didn't make him do work. I pointed out that he did his work every night. She was supposed to remind him to pull it out of his backpack. She said "No! You just just don't make him do it." Well, we opened his backpack and VOILA! there was all the work he'd been doing that she gave him "F's" for NOT doing. She was horrible.
Barbara, thanks for the comment. Sorry that we all have these bad experiences but.. I guess it's how we must learn sometimes.
Michelle,
That was a horrible teacher! When my son was in preschool, he had the best teacher. She opened her own preschool in a little house in the country and he was in her first class there. They had a garden that they tended, and lots of hands on activities. It was the best experience for him. He didn't want me to leave him there but then he would cry and sometimes hide when I came to get him. LOL...I always thought people would think I was a bad Mom since he didn't want to come home with me. If public school had been like that, I would have gladly kept him in school...but the schools here aren't that great.
Your heart-wrenching and heartfelt post left me cheering for your family and Charlotte Mason.
My sister gifted me with "A Charlotte Mason Companion" when she found out I was pregnant with my first. I loved CM's methods from the start but thought I would be an "involved parent" and still send him to our local private preschool.
We toured the school's beautifully contrived facility and thought we could never do better. Only when we got home and read the packet about the school's "vision" for the children did we realize we would be giving him up to be raised with goals and beliefs that weren't our own.
All my best on your continued journey!
Richele
Hooray for Charlotte Mason's gentle and meaningful approach! I'm so glad you found the light at the end of your tunnel!
Just recently a friend gave up with her dreadful and frustrating days of 'school at home' and I could encourage her to put aside the labels and methods, and begin a CM's education. Already she had had peaceful and joyful days reading aloud and loving learning.
What an inspiring story! One of my sons also struggled in public school (and I struggled to get them to work FOR him and not AGAINST him) and is what made me consider homeschooling in the first place! I pulled both boys (fraternal twins) out after 2nd grade and we haven't looked back since!
I, too, never really studied Charlotte Mason until about a year or so ago, and we have been homeschooling for 5 years! I had heard about her, yes, but never really looked into her methods. At least I had read much on Ruth Beechick's methods in the past and had at least been heading more in that direction already, but CM has even more wonderful ways to homeschool.
Alas, though, my boys don't always appreciate all of the CM methods, so we have had to take what does work (living books!, narration, nature study) and leave what doesn't - at least what hasn't worked for them since I have had to return to work fulltime. We do a mix of things now, but I always try to keep CM's methods in the forefront of what we do.
Thank you for sharing your story! It is a reminder that even if wish you could have done things differently all along, that as long as you love your children and care for them, they will turn out fine!
I enjoyed this post. Everybody has a different story and and their own struggles, and that's part of what makes us who we are. I think we can always look back and think about what we wish we'd done differently but we can only live life forward and we just didn't know then what we know now. It sounds like you did some important things right. I hope my children will all love God and learning when they are grown.
I have enjoyed reading your blog! I'm new to homeschool this year. My son's Public School story sounds similar to yours. I've been blogging about it @ eclecticramblings.blogspot.com. We started with "school at home", but then I realized why should I try to do what was not working. We've been drifting towards relaxed eclectic/unschooling. I'm starting to get interested in Living Books, and trying to incorporate them into our routine too. Right now we're reading the Story Book of Science and my son is actually asking me to read to him!
I'm glad everyone has been enjoying this post and deeply appreciate your comments!
I have enjoyed reading your blog! I'm new to homeschool this year. My son's Public School story sounds similar to yours. I've been blogging about it @ eclecticramblings.blogspot.com. We started with "school at home", but then I realized why should I try to do what was not working. We've been drifting towards relaxed eclectic/unschooling. I'm starting to get interested in Living Books, and trying to incorporate them into our routine too. Right now we're reading the Story Book of Science and my son is actually asking me to read to him!
What an inspiring story! One of my sons also struggled in public school (and I struggled to get them to work FOR him and not AGAINST him) and is what made me consider homeschooling in the first place! I pulled both boys (fraternal twins) out after 2nd grade and we haven't looked back since!
I, too, never really studied Charlotte Mason until about a year or so ago, and we have been homeschooling for 5 years! I had heard about her, yes, but never really looked into her methods. At least I had read much on Ruth Beechick's methods in the past and had at least been heading more in that direction already, but CM has even more wonderful ways to homeschool.
Alas, though, my boys don't always appreciate all of the CM methods, so we have had to take what does work (living books!, narration, nature study) and leave what doesn't - at least what hasn't worked for them since I have had to return to work fulltime. We do a mix of things now, but I always try to keep CM's methods in the forefront of what we do.
Thank you for sharing your story! It is a reminder that even if wish you could have done things differently all along, that as long as you love your children and care for them, they will turn out fine!
I want to thank you for such an honest and heartfelt post. I also have older kids who did well in the school system. It was our third child who we pulled out of 4th grade when his teacher decided that timed tests were mandatory even though we had it in the IEP that timed tests would not be administered! I also wish I had done some things better or different, but you are right...no regrets and we live life and learn from it all the time! Thank you again!
Audrey: Sorry you had challenges too. My son didn't give them ANY grief (he gave me grief, no doubt, but not them). At the conference when the teacher said that to me, she was trying to prove I was a bad mom who didn't make him do work. I pointed out that he did his work every night. She was supposed to remind him to pull it out of his backpack. She said "No! You just just don't make him do it." Well, we opened his backpack and VOILA! there was all the work he'd been doing that she gave him "F's" for NOT doing. She was horrible.
I recently discovered your blog but hadn't read this post about your journey until today. Thank you for sharing it with us and using your experiences to bless others!!!
Awww thanks so much Jenn! I appreciate that!
Post a Comment