"What about socialization?"
The question makes many homeschool moms cringe. It is the most worn-out argument/question ever posed to the members of the homeschool community. And yet here I am bringing it up again.
When people ask "what about socialization?", they are really asking, "How are you going to see to it that you're children have playmates?" That is socializing. Socialize: To mix with others socially.
Socialization, by definition, is the process by which individuals acquire the knowledge, language, social skills, and value to conform to the norms and roles required for integration into a group or community. That community could be the family; the neighborhood, a village, a city... you name it. Can this be done by socializing? Naturally. But neither definition says that our children must be socialized to an institution (school) or people all born in the same year as they were born. It simply means that they learn the social skills to successfully interact within a community.
Do homeschoolers socialize and are they socialized? Yes. Browse any homeschool blog and you'll see the many activities in which they participate with other homeschoolers (which means varying ages of children and adults). Speak with any homeschooled child. Typically, they have the skills to interact with any age from birth to the elderly, rather than interacting successfully only within their own age range.
Today, I came across a brochure published by the HSLDA which says what we homeschoolers already know but I was just so impressed by the information that I thought I'd share it with my readers.
First, here are my two favorite paragraphs from the brochure:
“Socialization is just a process by which we learn to be part of a community.” He continues, “So the question is, what community do we want our young people to learn to be part of? Some parents have said to me, ‘Aren’t school and high school, in particular, very important for socialization?’ And my emphatic answer is no, because we do not want young people socializing with each other. We want them to learn to join the community that they’ll be part of their whole lives. We want them to learn to become adults. Right now, they learn everything they know from each other—that’s absurd, especially since teens in our society are controlled almost entirely by the frivolous media and fashion industries."
“If you look through most of human history or you look at many cultures today, you find that teens spend most of their time learning to become adults. Here, they spend most of their time trying to break away from adults.”You can find the brochure at this link.
Let me know what you think of the brochure. What is your typical response to the socialization issue?
Happy Homeschooling!
9 comments:
I'd be a bad person to answer this because in our case, homeschooling does damper "socialization." My autistic children have a lot of trouble fitting in to the community. I need to teach them basic manners at home, etc. and we are trying to get out a bit. But it's hard.
Most parents have co-ops and all kinds of time to socialize. In fact, they have a more seamless socialization because their "school" friends are a real part of their lives. :)
Hello Happy-Elf!
Yes, life with autistic children can be a challenge, particularly in the area of social skills. I wouldn't say, however, that homeschool dampers that learning of skills. I would think that being surrounded by 20 other autistic children (i.e. in school) would certainly put a damper on progress simply because these children tend to mimic and would therefore mimic the other autistic children. Being at home promises that they'll try to mimic the non-autistic people in their world. :-)
I will be sharing this one!
I've come to define it as my son's ability to have a comprehensive and mature conversation with a stranger on a range of topics; to be polite and well behaved in public and in private; to give the benefit of the doubt in uncomfortable situations; and to be able to order his own meal when we go to a restaurant!
Love your definition!
17 yrs into homeschooling and I thought I was over the "socialization" question. But once I started blogging about it I realized that it still bothers me! It's such a stupid question when you consider the plight of our young people. Stay focused and keep schooling! LOL!
http://www.thebusinesscoachformoms.com/socialization/
Hi Michelle,
Love the comic. Our family is too involved in the community to respond to the socialization question anymore, LOL!
Underneath the socialization question are a multitude of conflicting beliefs regarding the purpose of childhood. A Long time ago, in a conversation about me trying to get kids to eat veggies, a relative said " I think that kids should eat whatever they want. Don't you?" This lead into a broader discussion about how kids should be raised (i.e, socialized).
Her line of reasoning was that children will have plenty of time to be disappointed as adults. The notion seemed to be that children should get to experience a time of pampering before time runs out for them! I disagreed. Yes, childhood IS short and should be enjoyed, but it is also preparation for adulthood. If kids remain in a "bubble" of self gratification surrounded by peers, how are they ever going to deal with realities of adult hood?
They won't. They'll fight them tooth and nail. The closer they get to adulthood and responsibility the more angry they'll become at the notion of having to let go of the false reality that was created for them. I think that much of the teenage angst, that we westerners see, is just an expression of grief over the impending loss of a pampered childhood but that's just my humble opinion.
Great brochure and Post! ~Niki http://homescoolu.blogspot.com/
I'm so sorry I'm just now getting to this! It must have come through when I was using my phone for blogging (that was NOT fun by the way!). I agree.. it IS a stupid question.
Niki,
I could say so much here. I recently (because of certain situations in our lives) read a book entitled, "Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited". Your comment is right in line with the things stated in that book. The child who is extremely neglected emotionally or extremely pampered creates a false reality; a false view of himself and a false view of the purpose of others. He then becomes the narcissist.. omnipotent, omniscient, self-serving, using other humans as objects to gain affection, love, hatred and to blame all ills of his world upon. He seeks to remain a toddler for the entirety of his life.. pampered, catered to.. not having to work or living life as a responsible adult but as a child taken care of by a parent (spouse).
Yeah... that sounds like a great plan! LOL
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